Stress
Stress
Fight. Flight. And...
If you're like most adults in the world, you have heard of the fight or flight response, and it is common for people to just equate the physical response of stress in the body to these responses. That's how I was taught over 30 years ago in my stress management class, and we know more now - there are not just two ways the body responds to stress, there are five.
Today I want to talk to you about the new knowledge we have learned about stress that helps us understand the mindset of the bodily stress response and teach you simple, stress management techniques.
The Five Bodily Stress Responses and Your Mindset
Fight and flight we know well.
There is also something called freeze or fawn which is a common bodily response when we are infants, and it's dangerous for us to move around too much because we don't know how to use our bodies very well. It is also something that can happen if you're having a dream, and it protects you from falling out of bed or running down the street while you're having an experience on the astral plane.
It's also what we hear people talk about as a trauma response. So something that happens to full-grown people who have experienced something scary and their body can get stuck in that response, then act in survival mode, because maybe it wasn't safe for us to be our whole full selves because of whatever situation that happened in our lives.
Fainting is another way that the body escapes from something that it believes is scary.
And then, the fifth response is friend.
This is really important information for us to have, because if we believe that our ancestors survived, and we are here today because we were strong warriors because we knew how to hide - that gives us a mindset that the world is not a safe place; that being in this attitude of fear is normal. That being willing to, at any moment, be aggressive is just what we're supposed to do.
The friend category shines a light on a truth that is glossed over in history books where we may be learning about war after war. A big part of why we are here today is because of the friend response to stress - that we valued our communities, and we learned how to collaborate and survive, not just by fighting or hiding.
We are here because we knew how to get along, how to befriend each other and that is an option.
What if a response to stress is not that we need to find someone to blame and attack; that we need to run away and hide?
What if another option is to collaborate; to build community?
De-stressing Right Here, Right Now:
I am going to give you some tips on what you can actually do right here, right now in response to stress on a day-to-day basis.
Body Response:
Your body is saying, "Let's get out of here, let's. Let's use our body to move away from whatever stressful situation has happened." All of your blood is flowing to your body. You are getting ready to go.
When this happens, I tend to think about it like your head pops off and all the blood is in your body, which means that higher-level thinking is unavailable.
So what do we do?
How do we turn our brain back on?
Ask yourself a question.
You may have learned in your wanderings on the internet how irresistible those silly surveys are - the brain cannot resist a question.
It doesn't have to be a good question.
It doesn't have to be relevant.
It could be something like:
What color are my shoes?
What's the weather like?
What time is it?
What day is it?
Doesn't matter.
The brain has to find an answer to that question and that's a great way to get the brain turned back on when it's been shut down in this way.
Mind Response:
Another thing that can happen is quite the opposite.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where it feels like all the energy is in your brain, and you can't get out of this spiral? You're stuck in some thought spiral, and you can't seem to turn it off?
This calls for the opposite solution, which means we want to turn on the body.
A great way to do this is a technique that is called the Progressive Neuromuscular Relaxation Technique - that is a really complicated way to say that what you're going to do is clench and release all the major muscle groups of your body, starting with your feet.
This is something that is really great to do at bedtime when you're lying down and fully able to relax or in a chair.
What to do:
Starting with your feet, clench for 3 to 5 seconds then relax.
And actually notice what your feet feel like when they are tense, what they feel like when they relax.
Do that with each major muscle group, from your calves to your face.
This can take 20 to 30 minutes so make sure you're in a place where you can be completely relaxed.
"Well, Janice, this happens to me in the middle of the day. What do I, what do I do? "
Good question!
I have two more techniques for you:
1. Engage Your Five Senses:
So another thing that you can do to engage your body if you don't have that much time and you want to do a quick get me out of my head into my body is to engage your 5 senses. And just do a quick scan- it could take, 20 to 30 seconds- and just focus on:
What can I see?
What can I hear?
What can I smell?
Is there a taste in my mouth?
What do I feel? Maybe your clothing or your seat or what does it feel like to have your feet on the ground.
That engages your body and at least distracts your mind for that short time.
2. Breathe with a Long Exhale:
And the last thing I'm gonna talk about today is your breath.
There are two parts of the nervous system I want to share with you right now:
the one that activates - that gets us ready to take action
the one that recovers - this is when we rest and digest, and do those passive things that are really important for our well-being.
So what we want when we're stressed out is to get into that rest and digest mode.
The easiest way to do that is with a long exhale.
You may have experienced changes to your breathing when you're stressed. You've either held your breath and not realized you were holding your breath until someone tells you to breathe, or you've breathed shallowly as if you were being chased.
To get into recovery mode and let your body know that you are safe - breathe as deeply as you can and focus on the long exhale. You can even pair it with a thought like, "It is okay. I'm safe. This is temporary. It's all going to be okay."
Pick something that feels right for you and practice it while you're breathing.
Supporting yourself well is the best way to support your business well.
You do not have to be in survival mode.
It is okay to be in this relaxed, calm space.
When in doubt, breathe deeply and focus on a long exhale.
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